Bitter Sweet Moments

8 Months pregnant with our Tukker Bear..
My Sweet Girl just a few hours into her life...

8 Months Pregnant With My Mr. Maveryk...


Bo Bo about 2 weeks old


And Now ...

On The way!

So as some of you may know this came as some what of a surprise. Here is the story...

Back in April of 2009 We decided that it would be fun to go ahead and add a 3rd little trooper to our family. We started trying with no luck for 6 months or so. I was getting sick of trying and David was starting to have second thoughts about having a third. We talked a lot about it and decided that maybe it wasn't the right time for another baby. We started thinking that rather than sticking to our original plan of having 3 of our own then adopting one we thought we would like to maybe just adopt 2. So we shifted our mind sets and were happy about it.

We started talking about doing a surrogate pregnancy which I have wanted to do for a long time. David was not sure yet if he was comfortable caring a baby for a stranger. Davids cousin casually mentioned that they were considering finding a surrogate to carry there second child because she is not able to carry any more children herself. Right away i knew I wanted to offer and David was on board too :) We brought it up to her and started talking and making plans. I really started to get excited about the whole thing and we were beginning to make plans and talk to doctors and lawyers. Marty (Davids cousin) mentioned to us that during the process of getting implanted they double check that you are not pregnant so as not to have any confusion with who's baby you are cooking. We were sure we were not pregnant even though my period was running a week late. I had already taken two tests that had both been negative.

On Jan 3rd we were calling around lawyers and I had a feeling I should go ahead and take ONE MORE test just to be sure before we got any more excited. I took one and of course... It was positive. For a few hours I cried and felt sick to my stomach and thought about how I now had to again shift my whole thought process and get excited to have another baby of my own on the way. I realized that I was going to have to be sad for a little while before I could possibly get excited. I called Marty with in a couple hours of finding out. I cried the whole time I talked to her and let her know how sorry I was that I would not be able to carry a baby for her at the moment but that I would still really love to if she hasn't found someone else to do it before I was able again. She was so nice and happy for us and didn't show any sadness even though I was letting the tears stream. I got off that call still feeling awful and took a nap.

After a day or two the excitement started to creep up as I started telling people here and there. It dawned on me that this is the first baby where I can be totally excited and not scared or sad about my situation in life. We are married and happy and financially secure so I might as well spread the news let every one know asap and give myself as many days possible to be excited and enjoy the pregnancy as this I believe WILL be the last :) SO there you go that is the story.

While I hope with all my heart that Marty will find someone else to carry her sweet baby for her this year I also secretly hope that I will still get the chance to do it for her in a year and a half when this baby is out and I am all healed up! Love you Marty. I am still sooo sorry but thank you so much for being supportive and happy for us :)