Saturday, February 27, 2010

Here comes another week!

Tonight is the end of my weekend and its back to work tomorrow. The weekend was nice home with my babies :) David and I don't have a day off together anymore :( I miss him lots but its nice that we have every morning together.
David had his interview with Fidelity on Thursday. It went well but we have yet to hear back. Some of our financial decisions in the past might keep him from getting an offer but we are keeping our fingers crossed :) It would be a really great opportunity but if he doesn't get it I am sure an even better opportunity. would come rolling around if we are patient!
We are going over to Grandma's house tomorrow morning to pick up a key so we can slowly move in over the course of the month! We are paid up through the end of March here but we will be living at grandmas to continue saving for our home starting in April!
March should be a good month! We will be moving, Maveryk will be turning ONE:), Hopefully David will start a new job and we should be getting a new car. (something with better gas millage)
Well there is my update for the week!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

End of a very long weekend

I got to enjoy a five day weekend that I am now wrapping up. I lost my voice and had to take three days off in addition to my regular two day weekend. Since I really wasn't feeling ill just sounding it... I got to spend a lot of time with my babies and hubby. We got a lot done but we also spent some time together just doing nothing (which happens to be one of my favorites).

I had a nice lunch with my grandma on Friday and we discussed my family moving back in with her until we get a house. We are pretty sure we are going to take her up on that so we should be moving in about six weeks. Then today we got to go to a birthday party for my niece Caydance. It was fun but sad she was so miserably sick she just seemed like she would rather take a nap then open her presents!

I had a really rough day with Tukker today. I keep thinking more and more that I am doing something terribly wrong with her. She is so mean and violent to everyone. Sometimes I think she hates me. The hardest part for me is that no one gets to see the sweet beautiful side of her that we get to see at home at least briefly everyday. One of my fears was assured today when my Nana walked in to the party and said "Tukker give me a hug." and Tukker said "NO!" When I said "sorry she is being mean today" Nana replied "Isn't she mean everyday?" That is something I always imagined people were thinking but no one has ever actually said it to me before.
It makes me so sad. I don't want to have the 'mean' kid. The one that no one wants to babysit or let come to visit. The one that the other kids avoid... I'm sad for her and for me. I have watched My mom and Emily struggle to get along or have a relationship for years and I always think to myself how it shouldn't be that hard to fix it if you really want to but IT IS. It breaks my heart that my daughter and I don't get along and I want so bad for it to change but I just don't seem to know how to change it! I was obviously given a difficult child for a reason. I must be meant to learn something from the challenge but when am I going to learn the lesson so we can be friends? I don't want to spend the first fifteen years at each others throats then finally become friends only to have her move out a couple years later. I just feel like I am missing out on being her mom and getting to know and enjoy her. I love her so much, why doesn't it feel like she likes me?
Being honest with myself I know its not just me. She is fiesty and difficult and a bit of a bully to everyone but it is just hard that I don't have enough of a mother-child bond with her to help her be a happier child.

Saturday, February 6, 2010


Courtney text me a few days ago to catch up and during the conversation she told me that she was going to do a week long fruit cleanse to kick of her fitness and nutrition goals. I thought it sounded like fun. I am sure she has more technical reasons for doing it then I do but I just think it will be a fun short term challenge so... Starting tomorrow morning I am going to eat only fruit and vegetables for seven full days. It is gonna take me some serious willpower so wish me luck! I am also only going to drink water and fruit or vegetable juice and of course I will take my daily vitamins to help make up for the protein and grains and what not that I will be missing out on. I am just curious to see how it will make me feel. I am not planning on it making a huge difference in my weight or anything but maybe it will help me kick some of my lingering bad habits so I can continue on becoming more healthy. I work a twelve hour shift tomorrow which will suck but I am sure it will go by quickly. It is the start of my new Sunday through Thursday shift. Every Friday and Saturday off from NOW ON!!! Woo Hoo. David started working at the senior home next door this week and he really likes it. It is only part time until he finds something in the financial field. He has a interview on the 22nd for a great position at ... ah the name has escaped me lol. Ill update that later when I get my mind back!

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